


Temporary

by Heeseunguwu



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, a not so healthy relationship, jayseung, not that angsty but yeah it's sad, one of them fell out of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27491704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heeseunguwu/pseuds/Heeseunguwu
Summary: So basically just about Jay and Heeseung on their 2nd-year anniversary of dating and one of them fell out of love (Jay), which made the other (Heeseung) question everything which gets to the point where Heeseung talks to Jay one last time to see if they can still fix their relationship and to see if it's really worth fighting for.
Relationships: Lee Heeseung/Park Jongseong | Jay
Comments: 13
Kudos: 33





	Temporary

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse my bad writing :((( I'm not good at it yet, but I'll keep trying to write more Jayseung aus and aus in general bc I kinda like writing now hehehe.

Time goes by so fast, first you know the ecstatic feeling of falling in love with someone, then the next thing you know, there’s a void in your heart, the empty space where your “love” for someone used to reside. All of it vanished, not knowing whether it happened slowly, or all at once. The love that you thought would last forever, only lasted for a few years, the person that you thought who would love you and be there with you forever, was just actually a passerby in your life, yet still left a significant mark on your heart.

Today is Heeseung and Jay’s 2nd year anniversary, on this day, 2 years ago, Jay confessed his love for Heeseung, they’ve promised each other on this day that no matter what, they’d stay together for a long time. 2 years might seem long, but for them, it went by in a flash, for them it felt like they were only together for a year, they felt as if their love for each other were not deep enough to be able to keep on hanging on or even try to fix their relationship.

Every couple has had their misunderstandings, arguments, and fights, Jay and Heeseung were not any different, early into their relationship, every few misunderstanding, the two would compromise, they would try to understand each other and fix it. But as time went by, it seemed that they have lost their patience, they would often get into fights that would take them days to fix, the other is the only one trying, while the latter does not even pay attention to it. 

And there, suspicions grew, from Jay accused of cheating, to him falling out of love, either of the two, Heeseung felt regretful, he thought to himself every night what he had done wrong or what he was lacking. He felt as if he was the only one trying in their relationship, he felt as if Jay wasn’t putting any effort. Heeseung would always plan their dates and Jay would only respond that he’s busy, always promising that he’ll make it up to Heeseung. 

But as always, promises are meant to be broken right? Jay’s promises were never fulfilled and the days where he actually agreed to go on their usual dates, he was spacing out, not paying attention to what Heeseung was babbling about like he used to. And every ”date” they go on, it got very awkward to the point where it seemed that they met for the first time and didn't know anything about each other.

Messages and their show of affection also changed, from the daily good morning and good night and long hours of them just texting to just simple hi, hello, yes, and no. Their conversations grew less and less every day that they could go weeks without messaging with each other. Their display of affection changed drastically, their mutual friends used to always complain about Jay and Heeseung being attached to the hips and cannot be separated, but now, their most detectable public display of affection is holding hands.

Today, Heeseung is going to do it, he’s going to talk to Jay, to ask if he has any plans of fixing their relationship, if he still has any ounce of love left for Heeseung in his heart. Heeseung was willing to start over again, he was going to do his best to give their neglected relationship a second chance, but only if Jay wants to. Because what’s the point if only one of the two is trying right? It’s better to end it now rather than to keep on hurting until it’s unbearable and comes all at once without a warning.

**Heeseung:** _Hey Jay, Happy 2nd Anniversary, I have something planned today for the both of us, so if it’s possible can you come to my dorm later?_

 **Jay:** _Yeah hey, uhmm, Happy 2nd Anniversary, I can’t come to your dorm until 6 pm today bc of my classes._

 **Heeseung:** _That’s fine, I’ll wait for you here._

 **Jay:** _Alright._

That was it, their conversation on their anniversary lasted for a good few seconds. 

Heeseung put his phone down and looked at the time, 1:34 pm _,_ there's a few more hours until he faces his fear. His fear of losing Jay, Jay meant everything for Heeseung, yet he is willing to let go of everything if Jay chooses not to keep their almost non-existent relationship. 

Heeseung decided that instead of being dejected, he started on setting up the living room for their 2nd anniversary. But Heeseung can't help with thinking, _where did everything go wrong?_ because on their past anniversaries, Jay would be the one setting up everything and surprises him with extravagant gifts and gives full effort on making Heeseung happy. But now, he needs to be reminded about everything, like Heeseung's birthday, the weekly dates they usually went to, and many others that seemed to have lost importance to Jay. 

Time went by more quickly than Heeseung wanted. The time is currently 5;54pm any moment now, Jay would be coming to his dorm, Heeseung doesn't even have the assurance that Jay would really show up on such a special occasion that he had seemed to forget looking back to their conversation earlier. And any moment from, now Heeseung would have to talk to Jay, which can result in heartbreak or a second chance, yet again he still has no assurance of what Jay really wants, but he still wishes it to be the latter. Heeseung wishes for Jay's decision to give their relationship a second chance. 

10 minutes had passed and it is currently 6:04 pm, Heeseung is anxiously waiting for Jay's arrival. Fiddling with the sweater that was given to him by Jay on his most recent birthday, he can't sit still, so Heeseung tried to distract himself in the meantime by going through his phone.

Not even 5 minutes have passed with Heeseung going through his phone he heard a knock on his door, having the idea that it might be Jay, so he stands up to go and open the door. He took a couple of deep breaths before opening the door, he sees his boyfriend looking good as usual with a simple flower on-hand and a small box. 

"Happy second anniversary Heeseung" Jay starts as soon as Heeseung opened the door for him. Jay's statement made Heeseung frown, Jay has never called Heeseung by his name when they're talking verbally, and considering that it is their anniversary.

"Hey babe, Happy 2nd anniversary, come in" Heeseungs as he starts to walk towards the candlelit living room that he has set up.

They got to the living room and Jay handed the gifts he was holding to Heeseung who took it with a smile "Thank you baby" he says as he hugs Jay, maybe this is the last time he will be able to so he stays there for a little longer, while Jay has his arms around his waist, holding him as tight. The two stays in that position longer, which seemed to last forever, until Jay broke the hug. :)

Heeseung showed the table he has set up with some food that he prepared earlier. 

"These look great, did you make them?" Jay asked sitting down on one side of the table.

"Yep, it's not that much because I had a few projects to complete for finals, and it's kinda rushed too" Heeseung answered also sitting on the chair across Jay.

"Let's eat" Jay said as he started to eat the food Heeseung has prepared for him.

The couple stayed silent, only the sound of cutlery hitting the plates were heard. On occasions such as birthdays or even simple dates, the two could stay sitting for hours just talking about their days, but right now, there is some kind of unexplainable tension in the air.

Heeseung finished his food first, he starts to gather up courage to start talking Jay. He looked at Jay who was eating his food silently, looking a little too dull which made Heeseung frown.

" Babe, how's the food" Heeseung asks.

"Uhm it's great" Jay replied only looking up for a second and gave Heeseung a forced smile and went back to eating his food again.

Heeseung just stayed quiet not bothering to say anything more, only observing and waiting for Jay to finish eating.

He wished Jay ate a little slower, he wished for time to stop so he can stay in this moment where there's still peace between them, because they will never know if there will be a 3rd anniversary and so on.

But luck wasn't on his side, instead, Jay finished eating a little too quick.

"Heeseung, you finished eating?" Jay asked as if it wasn't obvious. _There it is again, he didn't call me babe_ Heeseung thought to himself.

"Yep, do you want to watch a movie?" He didn't want this day to end yet, he wants to enjoy this day more, as it may be the last day that they are together.

"Sure" Jay replied sounding uninterested and started to make his way to the couch.

Heeseung following after and said "what do you want to watch Jay?" As he sat down beside Jay, putting some distance beside them.

Jay pulled out his phone and said "anything" as he scrolled though his social media account.

Heeseung just chose a random movie and pulled out his phone too. Thirty minutes into the movie, the couple sat there in silence, the movie completely forgotten about, only making background noises.

Heeseung has decided, he'll talk to Jay now, He gathered courage and took a couple of deep breaths before saying “Jay, we need to talk”, only getting a hum for a reply from Jay to show that he’s listening.

Heeseung, already getting annoyed with Jay disinterest ”Im serious”

After hearing the seriousness in Heeseung’s voice, Jay looked up and put his phone in his pocket.

”About what?” Jay said nonchalantly.

”i-i don’t know how to start this.” Heeseung stuttered, fear starting to creep up to him, not knowing what the outcome would be.

”What’s wrong?” Jay asked slightly concerned with Heeseung’s sudden change in his tone.

”Do you wanna keep going?” Heeseung starts, fiddling with his sweater.

”The movie? Yeah, I’m still watching” Jay answered completely oblivious with what Heeseung wants to say.

”No not the movie, this relationship” 

“Huh? What do you mean?” Jay still confused.

”I said, do you want to keep this relationship?” Heeseung said with no emotions. He doesn’t want his emotions to get to him, he’s sure that if it does, he’ll suddenly explode and have a break down infront of Jay.

”Heeseung I don’t understand, what are you saying” Jay asked once again.

- **WARNING- Harsh Language ahead**

”Don’t act stupid Jay, you know exactly what I’m saying” Heeseung said sounding a little harsh.

” I don’t want to talk about this, I’m leaving” Jay said realizing what is about to happen, and stands up to walk to the door.

”No Jay, You’re not leaving until we talk about this, you also know for yourself that this talk is long overdue” Heeseung also stands up to follow Jay,

Jay doesn’t listen and continues to walk to the door. Before he can open it, Heeseung has caught up to him and pulled Jay’s arm to face him.

“Jay listen to me, We need to talk about this” Heeseung said with pleading look, eyes starting to swell up with tears that he immediately wiped away with his free hand, while the other is still holding onto Jay’s arm.

“Heeseung, I’m not in the fucking mood to talk to you right now. Don’t ruin this day with your dramas” Jay harshly prying Heeseung’s tight grip on his arm to leave.

Heeseung scoffs “Drama? You think this is just drama? Jay are you fucking kidding me right now?And you know for a fact that everything were already ruined since the day you stopped caring about this relationship!” Heeseung answered back feeling ridiculous with what Jay had said to him

“Never did I ever stop caring about this relationship,” Jay replied with a heavy voice.

“Oh puh-lease, You’ve got to be kidding me, I’m literally the only one trying in this relationship, I mean you even forgot that it was our anniversary today, And maybe if I didn’t text you about it, you would’ve completely forgotten about it!” Heeseung half yelled feeling as if he was about to burst with anger, tears and many more.

“You don’t know shit Heeseung, so don’t start with me now.” Jay replied trying to subside his anger. 

“That’s bullshit Jay, I know, I know that I’m the only one trying in this relationship, I know that you’re only dating me because you think that all those 2 years were just wasted” Heeseung challenges.

“Oh don’t you fucking dare act like the victim now Heeseung, You have your mistakes too. Admit it we lost time for each other, you were as busy as I am, yet am I blaming you right now? No, I’m not, I know my mistakes!” Jay answered back raising his voice a little.

”That’s why I’m trying, I’m trying to give you, us, time to catch up, I plan dates I try to talk to you as much as possible, but what did you fucking do huh? You always ignore me, you leave me on fucking ‘read’ for days only replying “I’m busy”, Busy with what? Other girls!?” Heeseung questions also raising his voice at Jay

“Here we fucking go again, You know I’m not a cheater, I don’t and have never cheated on you. I only leave you on read because all you fucking do is hang out with Sunghoon, maybe you’re the one cheating on me? Because after you send me a message you always post about being out with Sunghoon 24/7!” Jay responds which made Heeseung explode.

”I’m only with him because he’s actually one of the few people I can hang out with because my own fucking boyfriend doesn’t even make time for me, only going around with different girls. Sunghoon told me that he saw you hugging some girl at the mall and you two looked so happy, who was that? You’re new side bitch?”

“Don’t you fucking dare call my cousin a Bitch, And why would you even fucking trust Sunghoon?! We both know that that fucking bastard likes you! He’d do anything for us to break up!” Jay yells ridiculed with Heeseung’s proof of him cheating.

”How would I fucking know that that was you’re cousin when you don’t tell me shit anymore! And of course I trusted Sunghoon, He was the only one that cared about me and listened to my problems with this shitty relationship!” 

“ Then you should have asked me, talked to me about it!”

  
“How can I talk to you when you yourself won’t spare even five seconds for me, you can’t even make time for me to tell you how my day went or even ask you if you’re doing fine” 

  
Jay stayed silent for a few moments, his breathing heavy because of the yelling his been doing

“Have you planned to break up me?” Heeseung continued weakly after seeing the unresponsive Jay in-front of him.

”I didn’t want to hurt you” Jay said, but this time, a little calmed down.

”God Jay, what makes you think that this isn’t hurting me? You think us in this situation doesn’t hurt me? You think that if we kept going on like this won’t hurt me one bit? You’re wrong Jay, this is much more worse than if we have ended this relationship right from the start. Because I’m sick of trying, I’m so fucking sick of being the only one trying to save a relationship that’s been holding on to a thin thread that even paper can cut. Im so tired of thinking what have I done wrong, what I was lacking. And I know I’m not perfect, but I tried to change, I tried to give us one more chance but you were the opposite. The more I tried to reach out to you, the more you grew distant from me.” Heeseung said now sobbing, his knees growing weak which made him hold onto the wall beside him. Jay kept quiet, only looking at the ground with tears in his eyes.

Hearing Heeseung cry hurt Jay a lot, it has never occurred to him that Heeseung is hurting so much, he didn’t know that Heeseung has been hiding so much pain, and he wasn’t there beside him.

_Im so fucking stupid_ Jay thought to himself, letting all the tears in his eyes fall.

The two are crying, one crying his heart out, and the other trying to hide his tears.

”I—“ Jay paused and brushed his hand through his hair “I’m gonna leave let’s talk when you’ve calmed down” Jay wipes his tears and looks up to see Heeseung still sobbing but this time, both his hand covering his face.

”No.” Heeseung says and wipes his tears, and that action was definitely pointless because his tears are falling nonstop.  
  


“Answer me Jay, d-do you even still love me? Or even care about our relationship?” Heeseung gathering all the courage he can to finally ask the question that’s been running in his mind for weeks, months even.

Instead of answering, Jay stayed silent, not saying anything, not even giving Heeseung a glance.

This was it, Heeseung took the silence as an answer, the saying _Silence means yes_ not really mattering now because he knows that Jay won’t be able to answer this.

”So you really don’t huh” Heeseung says with a laugh, but his eyes says otherwise, already filled with tears that won’t stop falling.

”Did you even love me?” Heeseung asks once again

”I did Heeseung, I really did” Jay admits taking Heeseung’s right hand to hold.

Heeseung doesn’t hold Jay’s hand back “Then when Jay? When did it all stop?Answer me!” Heeseung’s tears once again making his vision blurry.

  
“I don’t know..” Jay answers weakly.

“Choose then, let’s break up or let’s try to fix this” Heeseung gives Jay two choices to choose from. Hoping that Jay chooses the second, because no matter how tired he is trying, he wants to try once more, he’s scared of losing Jay, but he also doesn’t want to hinder Jay from what he wants.

Jay stays quiet for a moment. Seemed to think about what to say or what his choice is.

”Let’s..” he pauses, “Let’s break up Heeseung,” 

The sentence Heeseung doesn’t want to hear just came out of Jay’s mouth. That three words that he was terrified of finally came crashing on him, breaking his heart into millions of pieces, impossible to be fixed.

Heeseung continues to cry, but this time harder with what Jay had just said. “Why, Please give me a reason, I’m trying, I’m really trying my best to understand, but please answer me Jay” He asks one more time.

”I can’t keep hurting you like this Heeseung, I didn’t know how much you were hurting before, what more if we continue this relationship that will lead to nothing. Let’s stop now Heeseung, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” Jay says and pulled Heeseung to his chest to hug him one last time. Heeseung crying harder on Jay’s chest, feeling his chest get tighter the longer he cries, he feels tired every second and his head is about to explode.

The two stays there for a few moments until Jay broke the hug, but not before leaving a lingering kiss on Heeseung’s forehead, “I’m so sorry Heeseung, I really am, but we need to stop. I can’t keep hurting you anymore.” Jay says one last time before turning to the door and stepping out of Heeseung’s dorm, He looks at Heeseung who is now looking at him too, face red, wet from tears and eyes swollen, looking at him desperately, almost telling him to stay.

Jay closes the door and started walking to leave, tears starting to fill his eyes, which he immediately wiped. _You don’t deserve a second chance “Jay, you fucked up badly, hurting the person you love the most.”_ He said to himself.

Back at the dorm, Heeseung sits by the door, leaning on the wall tears still falling from his eyes, but he’s calmed down a bit now. He takes his phone to call his friend Jungwon, when he sees the lockscreen, a picture of him and Jay looking so happy, back from their 1st anniversary. He bites his bottom lip to stop himself from crying, and proceeds to look for Jungwon’s name in his contacts, hand shaking because of what just happened.

_**END**_ ——— 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so that's that, I know It's bad but I really tried, and I wrote this at 2 in the morning, so if you see a typo and/or wrong grammar, no you didn't :DD jkjk. I know it’s all over the place, Im sorry 😭I’m not good at writing angst 😭💔.But yeah, I'm planning on making a sequel for this but with a happy ending, so watch out for that 👀👀👀.


End file.
